just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
