everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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