Apparently you make a good broom.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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