I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
