Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
