Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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