I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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