Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
