So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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