U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
