just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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