God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
