He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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