the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
