just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
