Dual....:-)
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
