I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
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