whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
