The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
