I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
