I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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