There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Randomize
