Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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