Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
