I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
