those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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