Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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