We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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