matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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