yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
try to milk me bitch
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
