It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
