Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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