Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize