i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
