R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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