so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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