Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
