he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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