It's like God shit irony all over that family
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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