There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
