No awkward lesbian experiences without me
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
It's never too late to be topless.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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