I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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