I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
