I love black thongs
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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