Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
