Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
