your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
