why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
