Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
