my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
