1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
