Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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